- 12:26 pm - Mon, Jun 17, 2013
Once you start paying attention to calories, the ridiculous amounts of calories and saturated fats found in almost all pre-packaged and restaurant foods make you feel a bit paranoid, like there is a giant conspiracy to make you gain lots and lots of weight, quickly.
America really wants you to be overweight. It can’t wait to force that on you, even if you don’t want it. But then an entire other, separate industry will make you feel terrible for the fact that you let it happen, and another separate industry will let you pay out the nose to repent for your terrible food sins.
- 5:18 pm - Thu, Jun 13, 2013
Every time you see ‘all for nought’, replace nought with ‘nougat.’ Makes wasted efforts tastier, more worthwhile.
- 4:51 pm
Why I continue with this boring career path
I want more money so that I can give more money to wildlife charities, and to buy a parcel of forest of my own in the US or Canada.
Oh that and student loans.
- 1:17 pm
- 17,257 notes
You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all…
Okay, here’s what I don’t get. We’ve all felt unrequited love for someone. It can manifest as physical pain, a yearning so deep and distracting it deprives us of our focus and enjoyment in things. So while I undetstand the broader point about the etymological reversal of “friend zone” and how guys can use it to diminish women as people, there’s a catch I can’t get past.
Good point. And at first I missed how completely, 100% sarcastic this original post was. I really knew it was a joke when I got to the line, “Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class,” and I laughed out loud.